"Gas shortage leads to fights, threatens football." Football? FOOTBALL!? They have gas crisis, and all they care about is football!? Who here gives an @!&% about football? Some of us have better thing to do than sit around all day long watching 30 steroid-using dipshits throw a inflated cow dick across a field, but the professional dumbasses over at CNN think it's The End Of Ze World! Are we that starved for something to report on? Have we really stooped so low as to start talking about how the lack of gas will delay 1, 1 football game?

We're a nation of morons, I tell you.